


He Can’t Move

by ComicBooksBro



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Castiel’s deal with the empty, Dead Castiel, Dean Winchester Can’t Cope, Episode: s15 e18 Disrepair, Grieving Dean Winchester, Implied/Referenced Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, M/M, No here we die like men, Sad, Self-Hating Dean Winchester, i literally wrote this is 25 minutes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:55:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27413083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComicBooksBro/pseuds/ComicBooksBro
Summary: Castiel is dead.Castiel sacrificed himself for Dean.Dean doesn’t know how to cope.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 89





	He Can’t Move

**Author's Note:**

> IT’S CANON.
> 
> IT’S FUCKING CANON Y’ALL.
> 
> I am having so many emotions right now.

Dean can’t move.

He’s slumped against the wall, every bit of life and will and love sucked out of him and he _can’t move._

His phone buzzes—Sam again—but he ignores it. His thoughts are fuzzy and trail off before finishing and nothing makes sense any more. Tears have dried on his face and been washed away by new ones, but Dean makes no attempt to wipe them away. He still can’t bring himself to move.

He understands what Sam said now, about not dwelling. He thought he had understood earlier. He thought he knew what it felt like. He had thought, with everyone they had lost, he would know how it felt.

Dean had never been so wrong in his life.

_“I love you.”_

Cas had said what Dean had been to scared to for _years_ , and Dean hadn’t been able to respond, hadn’t been able to move, hadn’t been able to do anything. Cas was dead, and it was all his fault.

No matter what Cas had said earlier, Dean knew he fucked up. He had done this. He had—

He had killed—

He had killed Cas.

Another tear hit the ground, but Dean didn’t even register it. _Cas is dead._ He took a deep breath, which ended up being more of a sob than anything.

_Pull it together. You’ve gotta keep going. Sam and Jack need you. You need to stay strong for them._

He didn’t move, and his phone started buzzing again. Dean picked it up with shaking hands and hurled it across the room. His legs felt frozen. His mind felt frozen. His heart felt frozen.

“ _Because the one thing I want... it’s something I know I can’t have.”_

_We could have had it,_ Dean thinks, still numb.

Blood roars in his ears, and Dean cries until he can’t any more—until he’s blinded by his tears and can hardly breathe. _Is this how it felt when Sam lost Eileen?_

How his brother is still standing, Dean doesn’t know. Then again, Sam had always been better than him. Dean wants to fall apart completely, but he knows he can’t. Sam and Jack will be back soon and he needs to be okay for them. He needs to push this down and just hold on for a little longer.

Another sob rips it’s way from him, and Dean realizes there’s no pushing this away. There’s nothing that can dull the raw pain in his heart.

His phone buzzes again. Dean ignores it again.

Nothing seems to matter.

He can’t move.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s still canon!!! :,)
> 
> Thanks for reading, comments and kudos appreciated!  
> <3


End file.
